If you have come across my interviews, where I’m fully made up and with my hair styled to perfection, I am always flat open when it comes to telling people that how I look when I’m in front of the camera is nothing close to how I look when I’ve literally just woken up. Lol. When you use it as a joke or ironically, the hashtag #IWokeUpLikeThis can be funny. I personally like to use it when I’m wearing a weave in my hair and like two layers of contour on my face. But sometimes, people use it to show perfection that’s actually so far from reality. And that’s when it becomes unhealthy.
I’m not gonna lie, it’s amazing to get dolled up, wear beautiful clothes, and travel to really gorgeous places and take photos. But let’s not pretend that that full makeup look took five minutes to do or that your outfit was the first thing that you saw when you opened your closet or that it didn’t take you at least 10 shots to take that beach body shot. If you’re kind of relating, I’m not here to put you down. Don’t get me wrong. I believe you should do your own thing. Be proud of you being super extra. Just make sure you are doing it for yourself.
Social media can be fun, but when people use it as the number one thing to affirm themselves or to gain confidence, then it becomes a dangerous drug. Toxic and addictive. Think about it. Why do we have to be super flawless when we’re about to post a #selfie? Why do the number of likes on a photo change our mood? Why do we get affected by comments of people we will never even meet? Why are we always chasing #goals that are dependent on what other people think or have say about us?
I’m proud to be a member of the social media generation. We have great taste, we know what we want, we all have so many talents going on for each of us. But admittedly, as someone who is part of this generation, we’re also the kids who are so hard on ourselves that when we go through a glitch in life, it instantly feels like it’s the end of the world. I wish we could make more room for us to make mistakes, to fail, to feel pain. We are human, after all. We need to go through ups and downs, and guess what? When life feels like a rollercoaster, that’s super normal. There is no such thing as being perfect or having the perfect life. We are all different and that’s what makes us individuals.
I have been reading a lot of your messages in my inbox on Instagram, and these are some of the most popular questions:
How do I get over this guy? He said he wanted someone who’s hotter than me.
Please help me move on, this guy pretended to like me and now I am heartbroken.
How to be you?
My answers for you?
If your partner insults you and doesn’t think you’re the hottest thing on Earth, then he or she isn’t worth it. Not even worth getting hung up over.
If he only pretended to like you, doesn’t that make him super immature and insecure? You’re the better person. Find peace in that.
And you can’t be me, because you are you. And that’s the COOLEST thing ever.
If you’re reading this, let’s make a pact. Let’s stop comparing, stop obsessing about what other people think, stop trying to be perfect. Focus on the real you, not the Instagram you. Focus on reality, not the filters. If you are all about trying to please everyone around you and living the perfect life, then you are not living. Life cannot be edited.
Ma kouez en em saff is a saying I live by. It means, If I fall, I will rise again. Because you will. No matter how far underwater you are, you will come up for air.
Say it with me:
I fall, I rise, I make mistakes
I live, I learn, I’ve been hurt, but I am alive
I’m human, I’m not perfect, and for that I’m thankful
And you have something to say to tear me down, fuck it
Pardon my French.
The very best version of you is the one who is true to herself. No matter how crazy and messy that gets.
Illustration by Solenn Heussaff, background art by Kookee Flores