So today marks our one-year wedding anniversary. What an incredible journey it has been… Lol, not really. Everyone knows that Nico and I lived in together for five years before getting married, which is why being recognized as a couple legally hasn’t really changed much. We still have our differences, we still fight, and we still definitely laugh at and with each other. Love has always been the center of our relationship and that won’t ever change. (And no, Nico didn’t force me to type this. Haha.)
Some people say “freedom” is the difference between being a boyfriend-and-girlfriend couple and being a married one. Um, not really. Getting married does not get rid of freedom. If it did, then why do people get married?
Maybe it starts with how you define being free. For me, freedom is being able to freely express who I am. It’s what makes me happy, what pushes me to explore, and what stimulates my creativity. In this sense, being married still makes me a free woman. Obviously, I am not free to date other men (and if this is what freedom means to you, trust me, you aren’t ready for marriage yet), but to be honest, I feel the most free I’ve ever been. I’ve never been this motivated to spread my wings and chase opportunities, to work harder, to meet people who I can learn from, to look better, to feel better… This is what being with Nico has done to me.
When you find the right one, he will help you grow and push you to do things you’ve always wanted to do (like this website, hello). So yes, I am #BLESSED to be a Bolzico. (Although I am still thinking twice about the family name. Maybe I’ll give it a chance when he drops #wifezilla. Haha.)
I wrote an entry awhile back on how I realized Nico was The One. Personally, it helped a lot that we had a live-in situation before actually getting married. I know I’m going against a lot of cultural and religious beliefs by saying this, but it was a personal choice, and at least for Nico and I, this is what helped us get to know each other, flaws and all.
So far, being married has taught me that after you find Mr. Right (or Mrs. Right), there’s still a lot of work to be done. Maybe you’ve found The One. Now the question is, how can you continue to be truly happy with him or her for all eternity? Lol. I know it sounds funny, but that’s the reality. In our 365 days together as man and wife, this is what I’ve learned:
1. Make sure you have freedom, yes. But more importantly, have trust.
2. Encourage each other to continue doing the things that make the other person genuinely happy.
3. The One is someone you will always learn from. He or she pulls you up when you’re down. He or she makes you feel better about yourself.
4. Money is often a source of fights, so keep mostly separate finances, but have a joint account for joint expenses like the groceries, utilities, etc.
5. Do not settle into a routine. Always make an effort to change things up.
6. Get to know what the other person’s hobbies and interests are. Take up activities together, then balance that with time apart. (Me-time is super important.)
7. Keep rediscovering each other. People will always change, and the key to a happy relationship or marriage is learning to fall in love with each other again and again, in spite of the changes.
8. Don’t forget who you are and always stay true yourself. If there’s something you strongly believe in, stand up for it.
9. Know that whether it’s a boyfriend-and-girlfriend relationship or a baby marriage or a long-term one, as long as you are genuinely happy… Well, may forever talaga.
To celebrate one year of husband and wife, Nico and I are sharing with you (for the very first time) our wedding film by the talented Jason Magbanua. Watch it below!
Te amo, Nico. <3